It’s been a heck of a week.
My grandmother had an aneurysm that had been monitored for months. Just before the holidays it reached a point where her doctor informed her it was now time for surgery. As scared as she was, there was also relief as she was sick and tired of living with a time bomb in her body that could go off at any moment.
Surgery took place on January 24th, in St. John’s, 8 hours from her home and a 5 hour flight from the rest of us. My mother left Ottawa to be by her side and to make sure she would have the best care possible. My grandmother is 79 years old (80 on February 21st). She weighs about 95 pounds, is a chain smoker with COPD and suffers from anxiety and depression. Surgery was not the best option for her, but she decided to go through with it regardless.
The last few days have been HELL, for both her and the family. She woke up fine, having come through the surgery like a champion (even her doctor was amazed). But the delusions and the hallucinations were awful. It was to the point where a Psychiatrist was called in as the medical staff in charged feared dementia. Was this what it was going to be like from here on out? Did she have surgery to repair that aneurysm only to be left not knowing herself and her family?
Thankfully, after 5 days things are slowly getting back to normal. While she is still a bit confused, she is mostly herself again and is on the mend. So well in fact,that she’ll probably be going home early next week.
Even though my mother was with her, it was hell not being there. You see, my grandmother raised me. Even though I have a mother who I am close to, it is my grandmother who I call mom, who took care of me as a child, who taught me to tie my laces, who hugged me through my first heartbreak and I cannot imagine my life without her. I am 39 years old and I know I am very lucky to have had her with me as long as I have, lucky that my son knows his ‘big gran’ and will remember her for the rest of her life.
I know she will never read this, or anything I write, but I just want to say: I love you mommy. Get better and get home so that we can come see you. I’m going to give you the biggest hug you’ve ever had when I do.